Welcome To Matrimony

Welcome to Matrimony
hope you enjoy your stay while it lasts
be happy, be yourself, be truthful
10 years from now we’ll be celebrating
an anniversary, hope not a divorce.

Did you bring that cherished gift
newlyweds clamour for or
has it been given to another
as a birthday gift, a token of appreciation, or
a bargain to climb up the corporate ladder?

If it has, well, it matters! Oh, not anymore
ours is now an enlightened age, a generation-
people “in love” are no Mary and Joseph
restrained by tradition, hindered by religion
to touch n’ explore each other’s privates.

Love your buddy, or make him/her believe so,
don’t be an obligate parasite to that solemn oath –
“To love, honour, and cherish until death do you part”
If this vow leaves you
bewilder’d, bother’d and bewitch’d.

Sue the bastard! Sue the bitch! (Marriage Counsellor’s Advice)
Let your opinion be heard, shape them to view in a suit,
leave the kids if any to figure out how to be an adult…
Life’s too short; fall in love with another,
leave self-sacrifice to Christ Jesus.

But after you’ve sold yourself for a ring
and you’re a chip off the old block
and your Ma or Pa have warned you some men are
such a waste of human semen – a shirt after ev’ry skirt,
Some women’s nags n’ legs like rumors that just keeps on spreading.

Master wifedom – Two raging bulls in a pen
is a no go, be yielding, but don’t be his mouse.
Men prefer Respect, Companionship n’ Sex to Body beauty
Women Unconditional love, Nurturing and Care to Money
that’s the heart of Male-Female intimacy.

Above all, know that this imperfect union
isn’t a quick fix, a vent to sexual thrills – apocalyptic orgasms.
He who swallows a coconut whole
has absolute trust in his alimentary canal
Welcome to Matrimony!

Copyright © 2019. Ugo Nkwoala. All rights reserved.

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