Should I worry?

Tribute to: Oluwatoyin Salau, 19-year-old, a Nigerian-American Black Lives Matter Protester from Tallahasse found dead after a sexual assault.

Today, I watched that brown earth close up
and I thought of my own closure.
Who knows how many would gather to say
ugly things at my passing.

When this arm finally lies still,
should I worry? Could I prevail upon
my mourners to sing my praises?
Could I prevent my turn when it comes?

Who would not taste the dust of nothingness,
when that inevitable bell rings?
I’d have rather preferred to pass
from breath to breath like is promised,
but ‘tis GOD who chooses to bless those he’ll bless
with such an unmerited favor.

I watched your earth close up today
and bowed my head to pray,
that on my own day, may he find me
as faithful as a sinner could be.

May the majority who gather
to fare me well hold
good words about me to show
I lived what I preached –
the little a sinful worshipper could do,
and not that hate rid the world of a pitiful pest.

©Ndidi Ugo Nkwoala
SpilledWoords, 2020

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